June 17, 2022

Ephesians 5: 28,29  (NIV)

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.

True Christian love involves the submission of one’s desires and even one’s needs for the good of the person loved.*

Throughout history (and in many cultures today), couples didn’t meet, fall in love, and get married. When Paul says that husbands must love their wives, he doesn’t make exceptions for those who didn’t get to choose the women they married, so there is no loophole either for those who claim they just don’t love each other anymore.

In our culture, we can’t imagine wanting to marry someone we aren’t “in love with.” We forget that marriage is a legal contract between two parties. I suppose that we could make feelings part of the vows, therefore making “falling out of love” grounds for dissolution, but Christian marriages are held to a higher standard. Earlier in this chapter, wives are instructed to submit to their husbands as if to the Lord (a whole ‘nother topic of discussion!) but here, Paul makes it clear what Christ’s definition of love is and that husbands are required to love their wives like that – no matter how they feel about it.

I am not proposing that love as defined by Christ will save all marriages. As in any legal agreement, there are terms and conditions that are binding on both parties. One person’s failure to comply can nullify the contract. But in any relationship between Christians, a third party is involved: Christ.* Love like his puts self last and transforms our expectations and priorities. And such love is required of all of us, not just husbands and wives.

In Christ, our relationship with each other is suddenly more intimate than any human relationship has ever been!*